According to a study sponsored by De'Loghi coffee makers, men can turn women on ....by smelling like COFFEE!!!  Women were hooked up to machines that measured their heart rate and the level of the moisture on their skin...which are both ways to determine how AROUSED someone is!  Then they were shown pictures of men while smelling different odors.  Here are the FIVE SMELLS that gave women the HIGHEST LEVEL OF AROUSAL:

1.) Aftershave. (Would that include Old Spice or Skin Bracer?)

2.) Freshly-Brewed Coffee. (I wonder if the amount of coffee for a Bunn 60-cupper in an 8-cup Mr. Coffee would emit a sexy aroma?)

3.) No Scent At All. (Wait a minute...I believe that is impossible!  Everybody smells like something!)

4.) Freshly Washed Sheets. (That would be a cheap date for a lady!  Just get a box of dryer sheets and a bottle of Boones Farm Wine, throw a pack of hot dogs in the pan, and enjoy yourself...to hell with having the guy!)

5.) Instant Coffee. (What in the hell is up with the COFFEE???  What about energy drinks, juices and flavored sodas?  Coffee aftershave...I can see it now!)